From salguod Thu Jun 3 09:24:31 1993 Date: Thu, 3 Jun 93 09:24:18 -0700 From: salguod (Douglas Todd Jones) Message-Id: <9306031624.AA18850@ucscb.UCSC.EDU> To: falcon Status: RO Content-Length: 10571 X-Lines: 263 This is how some of US found Elfland... and this event is also what Started Elfland Forum, by the way... O.k..... for all those confused....here's a recap of what happened with the section of Johns leaving the Party in a medium-sized White 4x4.... Jesse: "Can I stand up in back while you drive?" Dave: "Only if I'm not arrested....o.k.... Dime and Silky in front....the rest of you johns in back..." PILE PILE PILE PILE PILE Dave: "Here we go!" Percy: "Can we stop at 7-Eleven?" (At this time Jesse is trying to get Tanya to chain him to the truck so he won't fall off, and Dave (me) is trying to see the road thru the fog while wearing sunglasses) Michelle: "Ok, now turn left...now right...." Dave: "I can't see..." Michelle: "Dave, take off the stupid sunglasses!" (She reaches over, takes them off me, puts them on herself) "Your eyes are too far apart." (Later at 7-Eleven) Jesse, now with fog speckled glasses on: "That was great!" Dave: "Look! Purina Dog Chow! We're set for the night!" Jesse: "There's no Hostess here!!!" Tanya: "It's past two a.m.... no booze." (The whole group sombers up at that statement) Dave: "But they do have ZINGERS! And I got a Lottery Ticket! How do you play?" (Back in the truck...a muffled voice says we must go to Oakes...) Dave: "O.k... we'll take the back entrance...Jesse sit down if there's a guard."Michelle: "Gee, I hope there's no cops on this road..." Dave: "Oh gee thanx for thinking of that..." (Sharp right turn into campus...) "JESSE! SIT DOWN!" Michelle: "Nope, no guard...you can stand up..." Dave: "Where do I turn?" Michelle: "First right... here!" Jesse: "Wrong." Dave: "O.k....we'll just make a U-turn here..." (reaches down, graps the Four-wheel drive selector and shifts into 4Low...guns it, and drives over the center curb.... B U M P ! Sreams of terrer coupled by screams of enjoyment come from the bed) Dave: "See, Michelle, that's what you can do in your Samurai..." Michelle: "Right..." After a brief stop at Oakes, our intrepid party continued to Crown where Dave made things even MORE fun by proceeding to drive up cardiac hill. He then drove around the pedestrian paths for a while, tried to drive down the hill with the car posts at the bottom, and actually made it around them, miracle of miracles(they made me sit down...I was annoyed) we then went up to C Lot, and the rest of the morning's insanity was done on foot. Dave: Look, there`s Rich`s car (Serling). Tanya: Let`s steal his hubcaps! Dave: Later. Tanya: Let`s go find Elfland! Jesse: I`ll go wake my roommate up and ask where it is. Michelle: Oh no! It`s _______! I ccan`t let him see me! I was supposed to go to a party with him tonight! Michelle: What if he`s in the lab? Will you check? I`ll hide in the bathroom!Tanya: He isn`t here. (Tanya disappears into bathroom...reappears and throws something at Dave) Tanya: Here, a gift for you and your girlfriend! Dave: I don`t use `em..... Jesse: Here let me see it...no one is this long! Falcon is ON LINE NOW! Jon(via terminal): I`m DrUNk! Tanya(into term): Wanna go to Elfland? Jon: wHat`S THeT? Tanya: I dunno..wanna go? Dave(playing Multi-trek): Argh! I`m dead! Michelle: G`nite..I`m going to bed. Jesse(also playing MT): I wanna kill _____! Jon: Otay. Tanya: I`m going to come over there and if you don`t log off I will press `break` repeatedly!!!! Tanya: Be back in a second, I'm going to get Jon... Jesse: Wow, she got him away from his terminal! Jon: Hic! Dave: Should we get a flashlight for this "excursion"? Jesse: "Yes." Dave: "O.k... be back in a second. DON'T LEAVE WITH OUT ME!" (Dave runs back to his room, wakes up his room-mate looking for his flashlight...finds two...and returns to find Jesse and Jon lying in the hallway) Dave: Shall we go? Jon: Does this mean I have to get up? Tanya: Yes. (The group stumbles towards the Crown Merrill Apt. parking lot. The group now consists of Dave, Tanya, Jon, Jesse, and Mike (acct. Macross).) Jesse: I think we turn here. Jon: That flashlight is too bright...turn it off. Dave: I don't think that would be a great idea... (The group turns off the beaten path and becomes lost) Tanya: I don't think this is the right way... (The group turns around and goes back. By this time, Mike wants to go to bed because he stayed up to late watching Anime...so he trudges back to the hub of civilizaton, as our foursome trudges on...) Dave: What does elfland look like? Jesse: It's just a neat place in the forest...you'l know it when you see it. Here...we turn here. Tanya: What, thru the poison oak? Let me tuck in my pant legs... TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE Jesse: Wait! I heard something... Dave: It's this stream. Jon: Aren't readwoods great? You could stand here and pick all of the bark off with your fingers! Tanya: (Holding him up) Right... (Soon the group finds a fallen tree...and Hark! It has a sign on it!) Jon: Tree of Hole? Dave: Hope...Tree of Hope. Tanya: And it's fallen...is that symbolic? Jesse: I think we found elfland. (And there was much rejoicing) Tanya: Let's keep going! Jesse: Here's another sign... High Road, Low Road. Tanya: Let's take the high road! Jon: Oh....you take the high road and I'll take the low road.... Jesse: This High road gets real low REAL quick...(pearing down the face of a rather sharp decline) Let's go the other way. All: o.k... Jesse: O.k. we have to walk along this tree to get across the stream. Tanya: We'll have to go one at a time...I can't hold you up, Jon. Dave: Is He sober enough for this? Jon: Wheeeeeeee.... Jesse: Hold on...it's a long way down, so don't fall off. Jon: Let's go THIS WAY! Jesse: I think this way is better... Jon: I WANNA GO THIS WAY! Jesse: Listen, you go around this side of the tree and we'll go around the other side and we'll see if we link up! Dave: Can I have a flashlight then? Jesse: Oh yea...sure. Jon: The flashlight's too bright! Turn it off... Tanya: Another fallen tree...let's climb it! Here, Dave, hold my purse. Dave: Uh.... o.k. Jesse: It's SO YOU, Dave... Dave: Yuck! Thanx, Tanya... Tanya: Sorry... Tanya: WEEEEEEEEE!!!! Tanya: Here's a pond of wishing! Dave: What the heck is THAT? Jesse: An elf, I guess. Dave: oh. And here's Dragon's pass Bridge...Shall we cross? Jesse: Look...reality road. All: Let's avoid that. Jesse: Dave, why are you carrying a stick around? Dave: Just in case... Jesse: oh... Jon: Let's stop here and rest. Tanya: Umm, that's poison oak... Jesse: There's a log over there. We'll sit there. Dave: Why is it getting light? Jesse: False Dawn. Dave: What time is it? All except Jon: I dunno, I don't have a watch. Tanya: Jon's got one...let me look. Jon: As long as we don't know what time it is...it isn't that time. Tanya: It's 4:30am. Dave: Why is it light at 4:30? Jesse: I dunno...False Dawn. Dave: I'm going to turn out the flashlight. Jon: Yea... Dave: What the... Tanya: He TICKLED ME! Jon: Jesse: Let's go... TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE Jesse: Here's Dwarves Dale...Now this is my kind of place!!! TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE Jesse: Let's stay here and watch the sunrise. Jon: Let's sleep. Tanya: Ewwww...it's wet. Dave: There's an open spot over there...next to that...that...what is that thing? Jesse: It's a post, Dave. Dave: oh. Jon: Let's sleep in the road! Dave: Isn't he sober YET? Jesse: Getting there... Tanya: I wish I had a pillow. Dave: Here. Tanya: WOW! You've been carrying it the whole time? Wow... I forgot about that! Jon: Here...use my camoflauge Jacket... If it gets dirty, YOU CAN'T TELL! All: GROAN... Jesse: O.k... Here's one about Moses and Jesus Christ playing golf... Dave: Ya know...if we raped Tanya right now...no-one would know. We could take turns holding her down. Jon: GANG-BANG! Tanya: Uh...wrong, guys... All: Awwwwww.... Dave: We could TICKLE HER! Tanya: What's that? And where's Jesse? Jon: It's a mass murderer...and he got Jesse. Dave: Why does a mass murderer have my flashlight? It's just Jesse. Jon: NATURE CALL! Dave: Look, the fog is coming in...or is that smoke? Jon: F I R E ! ! ! ! Jesse: We're sitting in the middle of a firebreak...it would just be amusing... Jon: Damn...my white shirt is dirty....and it won't brush off.... HOW COME THE DIRT COMES OFF YOUR DENIM JACKET AND NOT MY WHITE SHIRT?!?!? Jesse: It's Denim....that's why. Jon: oh. Dave: Ummm, this fog is getting a BIT THICK... Jesse: And I have Crew call from 10 to 4...and my Dad's coming... can we leave? Tanya: Oh, I guess... Jesse: Is this the right way? This is NOT the right way... Dave: Look...why are there tennis balls hanging from that tree. Jon: Strong Spider webs... Jesse: It's a Christmas Tree... Jon: We can get those flourescent tennis balls and the two tone ones and new ones and old ones.... Tanya: Jon, Shut up... -Cavi